Carla Jacobs was engaged to be married when her future mother-in-law was killed by her future sister-in-law. Roma Jacobs, 78, was begging a 911 operator for help when Victoria Jacobs “Betty” Madeira, 43, fired the gunshot that killed her own mother.

Today, Carla is a member of the Treatment Advocacy Board of Directors and the organizer of statewide efforts to implement assisted outpatient treatment (AOT) in California, where each county must opt in to “Laura’s Law” individually.

The Jacobs family experience of loss and advocacy is the heart of OC Register reporter Greg Hardesty’s gripping story about the psychological wounds left by mass killings and other violent deaths, “Long road ahead for Seal Beach survivors” (Oct. 26). "You know that old theory about 'closure?' " Carla told the reporter. "Well, there's no such thing as closure. It's been more than 20 years, and it's not over. It's not over emotionally. The best way I can describe it is that it's become muted."

Muted – but a catalyst for advocacy. As Carla puts it, "If there's a way to help prevent the next episode like this from occurring, well, that's the only good that can come out of this."

This is a story we hear at the Treatment Advocacy Center over and over – about individuals and families whose ferocious advocacy for treatment of severe mental illness is forged by personal loss and grief.

There are Nick and Amanda Wilcox of California, who lost their 19-year-old daughter to a shooting by a man with untreated schizophrenia. It is Laura Wilcox whose name is now on the law her parents and Carla Jacobs advocate.

There are Cathy and Mark Katsnelson of New Jersey, whose 11-year-old son died in an attack by a man with untreated schizophrenia and who tirelessly promoted “Gregory’s Law” before their state became the most recent of 44 with a statute authorizing court-ordered outpatient treatment.

There is the Webdale family, whose daughter Kendra was an aspiring young screenwriter when she was pushed to her death under an oncoming subway train in New York City by a man with untreated schizophrenia. And the Heisinger family of Michigan, whose Kevin was lost to a man whose interior voices compelled him to beat their son to death. "Kendra's Law" and "Kevin's Law" are legacies of the grief that evolved into advocacy.

There are families like Nancy and Joseph Jason of Illinois, whose loved one is the victim suffering the mental illness. Their son is currently in prison because of violence he threatened but didn’t commit. “You think if you love that child, it’s enough,” Nancy told a reporter for the Buffalo Daily Herald ("Prison the treatment for Buffalo Grove man's mental illness," (Sept. 25). “But it’s not, because it’s in their brain.” Today, they advocate for the criminal justice system to treat their son, and Joseph serves as president of the Barrington Area chapter of NAMI and chair of a NAMI criminal justice action group.

There are, in fact, too many such advocates to name – all the mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends and others who have lost a loved one to untreated mental illness in one of the many forms these losses take and who now are fighting that others may be spared.

They are our heroes, every one, and they are making a difference.

To learn more about advocating for mental illness treatment, visit Get Involved. If you live in California, Email  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  to join the effort to pass Laura's Law in your county.

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